Sabrina Said !! By: Betty Wright

SaBrina said ‘I have been diagnosed with breast cancer’.

At that moment I believe I left her family room and went into another dimension. I wasn’t here; I wasn’t hearing my daughter say she was diagnosed with breast cancer. That message took my breath away. My heart stopped. My nerves were shaken. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go to her and tell her it will be ok because I was so heavy I could not move. Everything changed. Oh God! Lord Lord Lord. ‘How is she doing’?

Everyone was hurt. I watched my family around the room received the message. My oldest granddaughter balled up her fist as it she wanted to kick cancer’s butt. My middle granddaughter ran to another room. Some cried. Others were still.

I know my daughter and the last thing she wanted was to have to answer a lot of questions so I didn’t ask anything. As she watched us she said no more crying. I need you to be strong. I thought ‘that’s my baby’. She got this however, I was afraid that she would keep things from me, to protect me I’m sure, but that just added to my grief. I wanted to shadow her so I would know every detail. I wanted to know what all the doctors and test were saying but she had it worked out how she would proceed with treatments and what, when and to whom she would share information. I thought, Lord don’t let her keep me out of the loop.

Sabrina told us not to share this information with anyone and if you know Sabrina you know that she meant it. So I kept the news to myself. That was hard because there were times that I needed to talk to someone other than family. Everyone who knew was hurt and it would be difficult to talk to them….so I thought. I remember being at work one day and my mind fell on Sabrina. A deep sadness fell upon me so I had to getaway. I left work, got into my car and took a ride. I stopped and called my sister. I had to talk to someone. The conversation went as it usually does then I expressed to her that I was so hurt over what my child was going through and that I can’t fix it! I was mad as hell! I told her that I prayed for my child and believed God that she would be ok. I also believed that something good was going to come of this….BUT I STILL HURT!!!!!!! Then I cried. Oh God I never cried like this before. I CRIED! I CRIED. I let out everything I had been holding in. I could not hold on to it any longer. I CRIED. I CRIED! OH GOD, MY CHILD! LORD MY CHILD! I CRIED! I CRID! I don’ know how long I sat there. I thank God for my job and the position I had that would allow me to be away without consequence. But that didn’t even matter. It’s all about my child.

I decided that I would do whatever she need me to do up to leaving my job to take care of her if it came to that.

Sabrina’s surgery was scheduled. She told me that after the surgery that everything at her home had to be….…like sterile to prevent her from having any issues. So, I went shopping. I can do that. I purchased hand sanitizer, wipes and everything that I thought she could use to make home a safe place for her to be. Sabrina like color, so I thought I would purchase some white linen. I picked up white towels and sheet, and extra pillow cases. These would be easy to bleach while washing not like her colored items she already had. So, I’m in JCPenny picking out some sheets when another customer came around the corner. It was Jeannie Blaylock. We exchanged greetings and got into a conversation about the sheets. I said ‘my daughter was getting ready to have surgery, double mastectomy and I wanted to pick up some things for her’. I told her that I was familiar with Buddy check 12. She smiled and said ‘she’s going to be fine. Things are better than before with the advance in medicine. She will be fine’. (This was such a blessing to hear. Jeannie was so encouraging. She made me smile). She asked if she could take a picture with me and if she could post it in her Facebook page. I said sure not thinking she was going to tell Sabrina’s story). Shortly afterwards, I received a text from my granddaughter that her mom’s story was on Facebook. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINGING. LORD, I have lost my daughter (because I shared her story with someone and it has been posted on Facebook). I left the store and gift wrapped the items I had purchased and headed to Sabrina’s. All I could think of was how angry she was going to be. God, I really don’t want to go but I need to get it over. I arrived at her home with my gifts waiting for her to just let me have it but she didn’t. By the time I had arrived she had found out about the posting and wasn’t upset. I tell you that was God! Thank you Jesus, because I didn’t want this to cause her to shout me out.

The surgery went well. She was blessed with good a good team. Now the treatments begin. Sometimes they were hard but she never really complained. I thank God for all of the people who rallied around her from nurses changing her bandages and friend who cooked three course meals at brought them to the house to helping her keep the house up. It was amazing to see but, she was reaping what she had sown. And for this to God be the glory.

Sabrina is my first born and my only daughter. The thought of her having to go through this was heart breaking but I always believed she would be ok. She has to be the strongest woman I know and the most giving. She loves God, family, friend and anyone else who comes across her path. Truly this experience has made her an even stronger person and it has touched all of us. Our faith is greater and our walk with God is better than ever. To God be the glory.

SaBrina and her mom Betty